Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I will be honest, I am not feeling very thankful. It's not that I haven't tried- and it is not like I don't recognize all my blessings. But I tend to be one of those "look on the bright side" people, one of those "get lemons, make lemonade" types.
And frankly, it has become a little exhausting to keep up all the positivity.
So I am having a pity party today and I am not going to let this season of gratitude make me feel guilty about it.
Hopefully it will just make my appreciation for what I do have that much more precious. Precious like my beautiful daughter, home sick with a cold and napping in my bed. See, I am feeling better already.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Birthday thoughts
I celebrated my birthday this weekend, a milestone birthday of 35. I'm not going to let it get to me though, because my 10-year-old niece told me I don't look a day over 31.
But turning 35 did have me reminiscing a bit about how I imagined my future when I was young and what my life looks like now.
I imagined myself as either a vet or a writer, living in an old, rambling farmhouse with a handful of pets and six kids.
Vet, no- mostly because of my pesky little issues with blood and guts.
Writer, check, albeit not a very well compensated one.
Old rambling farmhouse, well, not really, but I do live near ALOT of cornfields and since the patching and painting of the stairwell in our new and not rambling house was about a six month project, I don't think Tim or I have the lifespan to remodel something old and rambling.
Handful of pets, check on that one.
Six kids- well- we have four and that is plenty! Enough said.
So as it turns out, I haven't done so bad after all.
Sure life throws us all curveballs like divorce or illness or even car troubles.
And it's not to say our dreams can't change. I mean six kids? Never gonna happen.
But with babysteps, I can make all sorts of things happen. Maybe even convince Tim to get our basement finished.
I have at least another 35 years!
But turning 35 did have me reminiscing a bit about how I imagined my future when I was young and what my life looks like now.
I imagined myself as either a vet or a writer, living in an old, rambling farmhouse with a handful of pets and six kids.
Vet, no- mostly because of my pesky little issues with blood and guts.
Writer, check, albeit not a very well compensated one.
Old rambling farmhouse, well, not really, but I do live near ALOT of cornfields and since the patching and painting of the stairwell in our new and not rambling house was about a six month project, I don't think Tim or I have the lifespan to remodel something old and rambling.
Handful of pets, check on that one.
Six kids- well- we have four and that is plenty! Enough said.
So as it turns out, I haven't done so bad after all.
Sure life throws us all curveballs like divorce or illness or even car troubles.
And it's not to say our dreams can't change. I mean six kids? Never gonna happen.
But with babysteps, I can make all sorts of things happen. Maybe even convince Tim to get our basement finished.
I have at least another 35 years!
Monday, November 2, 2009
So last week came and went without a blog entry. It's kinda hard to be disciplined when you only answer to yourself!
Actually, I was enjoying the sweet sound of silence, as Monday is the only day of the week when I get two and a half hours (gasp!) child free.
For some reason I needed that silence all the more after a very noisy week. Have you ever been outside on a summer day and heard the buzz of insects in the air? Very similar to our house, except that it is more of a dull roar.
The boys seem to find it necessary to make humming, popping or lip-smacking sounds while engaged in any task.
Angelina, on the other hand, loves to sing. Sometimes these are nonsensical songs or odes to a family member. (For example, to great-grandma in the wheelchair- "I love grandma-great, grandma great... she can't walk... grandma-great")
But often it is a precious tune from one of her favorite Barbie movies.
This week she watched Barbie and The Diamond Castle movie.
It was so precious as she sang Lydia's parts over and over again:
"I'll rule the world" and "Your going to pay!"
Really... um... sweet...
Anyway, add in the melodious sounds of the dog slurping her own paws and you can imagine how great it is.
And speaking of Great- in our house we have what they call a "Great Room". It refers to the combine space of the kitchen, living room and dining area.
But I will tell you- it is not great at all.
As the kids are working on their homework at the dining room table, singing, humming, smacking and popping away, Tim is watching T.V. on the couch, glaring at us and turning up the volume.
To which the kids' noises get louder... and then so does the T.V....and then the kids...and then the T.V...
You can see where this goes. It's not great at all!!!
So you can see why I enjoyed my silence on Monday all the more.
But then Halloween came, and the house was overflowing with friends and neighbors and lots and lots of kids. And it was noisy. And I loved every minute of it.
So maybe the moral of the story is that there is a place and time to appreciate our kids' noises after all...
Or maybe it was just all that wine I was drinking :)
Actually, I was enjoying the sweet sound of silence, as Monday is the only day of the week when I get two and a half hours (gasp!) child free.
For some reason I needed that silence all the more after a very noisy week. Have you ever been outside on a summer day and heard the buzz of insects in the air? Very similar to our house, except that it is more of a dull roar.
The boys seem to find it necessary to make humming, popping or lip-smacking sounds while engaged in any task.
Angelina, on the other hand, loves to sing. Sometimes these are nonsensical songs or odes to a family member. (For example, to great-grandma in the wheelchair- "I love grandma-great, grandma great... she can't walk... grandma-great")
But often it is a precious tune from one of her favorite Barbie movies.
This week she watched Barbie and The Diamond Castle movie.
It was so precious as she sang Lydia's parts over and over again:
"I'll rule the world" and "Your going to pay!"
Really... um... sweet...
Anyway, add in the melodious sounds of the dog slurping her own paws and you can imagine how great it is.
And speaking of Great- in our house we have what they call a "Great Room". It refers to the combine space of the kitchen, living room and dining area.
But I will tell you- it is not great at all.
As the kids are working on their homework at the dining room table, singing, humming, smacking and popping away, Tim is watching T.V. on the couch, glaring at us and turning up the volume.
To which the kids' noises get louder... and then so does the T.V....and then the kids...and then the T.V...
You can see where this goes. It's not great at all!!!
So you can see why I enjoyed my silence on Monday all the more.
But then Halloween came, and the house was overflowing with friends and neighbors and lots and lots of kids. And it was noisy. And I loved every minute of it.
So maybe the moral of the story is that there is a place and time to appreciate our kids' noises after all...
Or maybe it was just all that wine I was drinking :)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Life's Mysteries
Now I don't fancy myself a grand thinker by any means, but a few of life's mysteries have confounded me today.
Why is it any flat surface seems to attract "stuff"? And why is it that an even larger flat surface (say, a table set up in the garage) will attract even more "stuff"?
Why is it that fully clothed Barbies must always be made naked?
And why, when taking a walk with five children and finally reaching our destination, must one of said children have to go to the bathroom "NOW!", meanwhile another of said children attempts a scooter stunt that will have him walking two blocks home crying his eyes out, with hamburger knuckles?
The world may never know!
Why is it any flat surface seems to attract "stuff"? And why is it that an even larger flat surface (say, a table set up in the garage) will attract even more "stuff"?
Why is it that fully clothed Barbies must always be made naked?
And why, when taking a walk with five children and finally reaching our destination, must one of said children have to go to the bathroom "NOW!", meanwhile another of said children attempts a scooter stunt that will have him walking two blocks home crying his eyes out, with hamburger knuckles?
The world may never know!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Pets are fun!
Ever since the kids started back to school it has been an uphill battle to get them to bed on time.
Last night was no exception.
I had managed to round everyone up and get them upstairs, which I consider a small victory, and was just wrangling Angelina into the bathtub when my son Antonio called excitedly from his room, "Mom, come here, HURRY!"
He was giddy to find out that his birthday present, a pet rat named Clover, was indeed feeling more comfortable in her surroundings after a week in our house.
Comfortable enough to try squeezing through the bars of her cage. (The cage I found as a "deal" on Craigslist only to find it was a two hour drive round-trip to pick the darn thing up!)
Tonio decided on a pet rat because he had read they are very smart and sure enough, Clover is a clever one, gaining her freedom after only a handful of attempts.
If there is something to be thankful for in all of this, it is the fact that we live five minutes away from a 24hr SuperWalmart and so off Tim went at 9:00 pm, to bring back a brand new hamster cage. So much for my Craigslist "deal".
Around 11:00 pm, after a bit of cursing and realizing I was reading directions in the wrong language, the cage was together, Clover was stuffed inside (it's a bit of a tight fit), and the kids were finally asleep.
What would I do without the unpredictability of pets to keep me on my toes!
Clover is the newest member of our pet family, pushing the total to six.
Which means I am only a pet or two shy of becoming eligible for a Wifeswap episode, as long as the next pet is a goat or something.
The rat joins two very neglected fish, Emilio's very low maintenance gecko and two dogs with varying degrees of behavioral issues.
I was under the impression that this little rat would be fairly low maintenance as well.
Immediately after Tonio brought her home she looked around and then promptly went into her little hut, filled the doorway with stuffing and barricaded herself in there for several days.
As of last night, though, all bets are off. I think we have a wild one on our hands, which thrills the kids to no end.
I am hoping being a pet owner will teach the kids' compassion and responsibility.
I don't know how that is working, but I'll tell you, it sure has increased my responsibilities!
Many a night ends with me snuggled under the warm covers only to have to climb out and yell downstairs to Tim, "Would you mist the gecko, please?"
Angelina reminds me she is next in line for her own pet and I have told her when she turns eight, she may get something, too.
To which she responded, " Oh, goody! I want a tarantula! They are SOOOO cute!"
Last night was no exception.
I had managed to round everyone up and get them upstairs, which I consider a small victory, and was just wrangling Angelina into the bathtub when my son Antonio called excitedly from his room, "Mom, come here, HURRY!"
He was giddy to find out that his birthday present, a pet rat named Clover, was indeed feeling more comfortable in her surroundings after a week in our house.
Comfortable enough to try squeezing through the bars of her cage. (The cage I found as a "deal" on Craigslist only to find it was a two hour drive round-trip to pick the darn thing up!)
Tonio decided on a pet rat because he had read they are very smart and sure enough, Clover is a clever one, gaining her freedom after only a handful of attempts.
If there is something to be thankful for in all of this, it is the fact that we live five minutes away from a 24hr SuperWalmart and so off Tim went at 9:00 pm, to bring back a brand new hamster cage. So much for my Craigslist "deal".
Around 11:00 pm, after a bit of cursing and realizing I was reading directions in the wrong language, the cage was together, Clover was stuffed inside (it's a bit of a tight fit), and the kids were finally asleep.
What would I do without the unpredictability of pets to keep me on my toes!
Clover is the newest member of our pet family, pushing the total to six.
Which means I am only a pet or two shy of becoming eligible for a Wifeswap episode, as long as the next pet is a goat or something.
The rat joins two very neglected fish, Emilio's very low maintenance gecko and two dogs with varying degrees of behavioral issues.
I was under the impression that this little rat would be fairly low maintenance as well.
Immediately after Tonio brought her home she looked around and then promptly went into her little hut, filled the doorway with stuffing and barricaded herself in there for several days.
As of last night, though, all bets are off. I think we have a wild one on our hands, which thrills the kids to no end.
I am hoping being a pet owner will teach the kids' compassion and responsibility.
I don't know how that is working, but I'll tell you, it sure has increased my responsibilities!
Many a night ends with me snuggled under the warm covers only to have to climb out and yell downstairs to Tim, "Would you mist the gecko, please?"
Angelina reminds me she is next in line for her own pet and I have told her when she turns eight, she may get something, too.
To which she responded, " Oh, goody! I want a tarantula! They are SOOOO cute!"
Monday, October 12, 2009
Birthday seasonings
October finds three of our collective four children celebrating birthdays. It's a busy time I've tried to make as special and individual as possible, while still staying within the husband-is-out-of-work budget.
Catering to their likes and dislikes at birthday time makes me realize all over again how different and unique each one of them are. As they get older it becomes pretty easy to catagorize.
Angelina is the dancer, Antonio is the studious one...etc., etc.
Why is parenting such a tighrope walk of nuturing a child's individuality while being cautious not to "label"?
Add in several doses of my unrequited childhood dreams and it becomes one huge undertaking. I second-guess myself all the time.
Angelina loves her ballet class and has yet to delve into sports like some of her friends and cousins.
Is this because she truly loves it? Or because my shy nature made it impossible for me to take ballet as a child and hearing any song from the movie Flashdance makes me want to break out in some seriously dated eighties dance moves behind the safety of my bedroom door?
As I contemplate the three different birthday desserts I will prepare this weekend, I think our kids are a recipe of their own; a little of us and a whole lot of them, seasoned with all the experiences we provide. It's my job to keep the experiences coming.
Catering to their likes and dislikes at birthday time makes me realize all over again how different and unique each one of them are. As they get older it becomes pretty easy to catagorize.
Angelina is the dancer, Antonio is the studious one...etc., etc.
Why is parenting such a tighrope walk of nuturing a child's individuality while being cautious not to "label"?
Add in several doses of my unrequited childhood dreams and it becomes one huge undertaking. I second-guess myself all the time.
Angelina loves her ballet class and has yet to delve into sports like some of her friends and cousins.
Is this because she truly loves it? Or because my shy nature made it impossible for me to take ballet as a child and hearing any song from the movie Flashdance makes me want to break out in some seriously dated eighties dance moves behind the safety of my bedroom door?
As I contemplate the three different birthday desserts I will prepare this weekend, I think our kids are a recipe of their own; a little of us and a whole lot of them, seasoned with all the experiences we provide. It's my job to keep the experiences coming.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A Fresh Start
It's really easy to get down and depressed these days. All I need to do is check my bank account balance or turn on the news. What is your pleasure today? The stalled economy? Global warming? Unemployment?
Last night we had a swine flu scare and I spent a good 30 minutes on the computer, printing everything I could about it until my black ink cartridge was spent. I carried out my nightly kid duties with a knot in my stomach, not able to fully enjoying their smiling faces and nonsensical chatter as we read books and I tucked them into bed.
But this morning I realized that trying times give us strength and allow us to see what we are made of.
And a chance to show our kids the skill of coping.
I hope it will be valuable for my kids to see our family struggle, but pull together and work through.
And hopefully I can do it with grace under pressure, not like crazy off-the-handle lady. Yes, she's been know to appear in our house on occasion.
Today a fresh start for me- time to face up to my fears and keep plugging along.
So I've decide to embark on writing a blog, instead of just accepting the demise of my column.
I've decided to try seeing possibilities instead of dead ends.
And embracing each day instead of just muddling through.
Welcome... I hope you'll join me!
Last night we had a swine flu scare and I spent a good 30 minutes on the computer, printing everything I could about it until my black ink cartridge was spent. I carried out my nightly kid duties with a knot in my stomach, not able to fully enjoying their smiling faces and nonsensical chatter as we read books and I tucked them into bed.
But this morning I realized that trying times give us strength and allow us to see what we are made of.
And a chance to show our kids the skill of coping.
I hope it will be valuable for my kids to see our family struggle, but pull together and work through.
And hopefully I can do it with grace under pressure, not like crazy off-the-handle lady. Yes, she's been know to appear in our house on occasion.
Today a fresh start for me- time to face up to my fears and keep plugging along.
So I've decide to embark on writing a blog, instead of just accepting the demise of my column.
I've decided to try seeing possibilities instead of dead ends.
And embracing each day instead of just muddling through.
Welcome... I hope you'll join me!
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